we used to laugh at Arwin because of his creepy obsession, but now we slowly realize……
WE ARE ARWIN HAWKHAUSER
In which Jimmy Fallon nails it.
It’s funny that was mentioned because my US History teacher (who is a man) started talking about the equal pay act and I spoke up and said that it’s still not equal and he didn’t believe me. He told me to write a paper on it and give sources to my information because he didn’t believe that women weren’t making the same amount of money as men. I was laughing as I turned in that paper and he just stared at me in disbelief. Get fuckin used to it, dude, the feminists are getting younger and younger.
- “Eat” the damn Play-doh cookies.
- Slurp the invisible soup.
- Pretend that they’re not causing grievous bodily harm as they “brush” your hair.
- Always be serious when asked what you’d like for dinner, and never say something silly like rabbit soup. Because they will go get their stuffed one off the bed, put it in your best pot, and fill said pot with water. Then place it on your desk.
- Greet their make believe friends and ask how their day was.
- Always kiss the teddy bear goodnight. It has feelings too.
- Always pretend to die when they shoot you.
- If you are having a fake war with them and you shoot them and they say they can’t die because they are invincible, you don’t shoot them again, because they are invincible.
- Yes, their drawing does look like a butterfly, not a bunch of jumbled up lines.
- Them pounding on the piano is the best thing you have ever heard.
no but seriously it’s very important to a child’s development to not be shut down by parents and other caregivers
okay, wait, can I just say that when a kid has an imaginary friend, YOU FUCKING BE THE SWEETEST PERSON TO THAT IMAGINARY FRIEND CAUSE THAT FRIEND MAY NOT ACTUALLY BE IMAGINARY BUT A DEMON AND I’D RATHER NOT DIE THANKS
It got better
my mom said i was never allowed to make a face when i changed my little brothers diapers cuz if he thought pooping was bad he’d try to stop and get constipated and she said she’s pretty sure that’s what happened to me like thanks mom
sometimes i pull my headphones out of my purse and they pull out things like chap stick, tampons, whales and like the whole country of russia like are you kidding me
READ THE LAST ONE OUT LOUD
YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED
THIS AIN’T A SCENE, IT’S A
WE’RE GOING DOWN DOWN INANULLIARAN
AND SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN SWINGIN’
I’LL BE YANUMBAWAH WITHABULLIN
ALLUDIGA CORNFLAKES COCKITENBOOLIT